Thursday, February 2, 2012

Co-Sleeping? No Thanks.

First off, as a disclaimer, just because I dont agree with something, doesnt mean YOU have to agree with me disagreeing (woa what?? lol). AND, i realize co-sleeping with your baby is getting more and more popular, so dont feel like im dissing you, this is just MY input on it.
K lets begin my lovelies. 

I came across this pin on Pinterest.

When Braylee was first born, she had an incident at the hospital that TERRIFIED me that it might happen again. She spit up and had chocked on that "flem" stuff thats babies have in their bellies from being in your uterus. SHE WENT BLUE! Thank HEAVENS the nurse was in the room when it happened and rushed her to the nursery and got her breathing again. 
Needless to say, Braylee slept RIGHT by my bed for the first weeks or so (as most newborns do). 
Then Braylee WOULD NOT sleep at night. She was backwards, so she ended up in bed with me a lot.

Well i did NOT want her to be a co-sleeper so we made sure it didnt become a habbit, and this is my reasonings :)
  • I NEEEED my sleep! Sleep time is MY time. I want to toss, turn, drool, sprawl out, whatever i want!
  • Its DANGEROUS, especially when they are still pretty small! You can roll onto your baby and kill them!
  • I do NOT want an older kid bugging me and wanting to sleep in mommy and daddy's bed. The older they get, the weirder it is, and the longer they are in your bed, the harder it becomes to GET THEM OUT!
  • Yes, co-sleeping might make a special "bond" with your child, especially if you are breastfeeding. But i dont feel like im distant with Braylee. I have a VERY special bond with her actually due to single parenting her the first 3 months of her life.
But lets get to my MOST IMPORTANT point and really the point of WHY i made this post.
(WARNING.. a little bit of adult content is about to follow. Mature, adult, content)

Bed time is my HUBBY time.

My time to reconnect with him, To cuddle, to talk about our day, to talk about serious things that kids dont need to over hear like financial stuff etc. My time to BOND and reconnect with my husband in between the sheets if you know what i mean. Sorry if thats "inappropriate" to talk about but its NO lie, SEX is SOOOOOO important in a marriage. (ill make a separate post about this topic cuz guess what, we are all adults here and can handle it. MMMKAYYY?? lol)

Co-sleeping can create such a huge wedge between a husband and wife! I mean, what do you do when you want to cuddle and have that comfort from your husband? (or fiance, boyfriend, whatev). Kick the baby out? What do you do when you want to brown chicken brown cow? (sex, if you didnt catch on to that). Kick the baby out? Cuz most likely, when you co-sleep, they WILL NOT sleep in their own bed.

I dunno, just not my cup of tea.

In conclusion. I will NEVER allow Braylee to sleep in my bed on a regular basic or even often. YES, when Braylee is sick, she can come in my bed. If she has a nightmare, YES, she can come in my bed. 
But for little reasons?? No.
Braylee is in a toddler bed. If she randomly starts getting up and coming and crawling into bed with us during the night, i WILL go put her back in bed EVERY time. 
Im NOT getting in that habit haha.

I hope i didnt offend anyone, not my intention.
Just my opinion
Everyone lives their own lives how they see fit.
Do your thing.

(website where i researched some pros and cons found HERE)


Ashley N. said...

My little brother slept in the same bed as my aunt until he was in high school and my sister is 5 and STILL sleeping in the same bed.

Sonya Marie said...

We have a weird sleeping arrangement. Because Maia doesn't have her own room she generally is put down in her bed but around 4 am she comes into ours. Half the time I usually don't even hear her but I wake up around 7 if I haven't when she first crawled in and put her back. I don't know why she does it because it's just recently new but it's creepy. The kid is oddly quiet about it and she comes so close to the morning. Little creeper :)

Insomniac Mom said...

Totally agree with you. When we had the Yeti, there was a no babies in bed rule firmly established in my house. You are right - you need the time and private space to be with your partner. The yeti has only spent two full nights in our bed - one was when he was sick and I was terrified he would stop breathing and one was when we lost power, had no heat, and the roads were so clogged with fallen trees, we couldn't leave. He sleeps in his crib, in his own room every night. I think it strange that I know many couples who have kids 6+ years old who still sleep IN BETWEEN them all night long. When do you find time for nookie?

Alaythea said...

We co-slept when Gianna was born, not because I really wanted to but because I had two major surgeries within four weeks of her birth. I literally couldn't get in and out of the bed to get her and nurse her so she slept in a little "bed" thing in between us. But by the time she was a year old I couldn't stand it - she is an awful co-sleeper and my hubby and I weren't getting any sleep. So when she turned a year old we put her in her crib and she's been in her own bed ever since. And yes, that time after she goes to bed is very important for me and my hubby - sex is an extremely important part of marriage whether people wanna believe it or not. If we would have had a second child they wouldn't have gotten near our bed! Haha!!!

Natasha said...

Hey girl...I love your blog and think you are super awesome and one of the most real bloggers I've "met" but I just wanted to throw this out there that this post is almost exactly like a post I read a few days ago on a different blog. I'm all for using blogs to be inspiration as long as we put our own twist on things. I'm really not trying to call you out or anything I just want to bring it to your attention but I'm sure your already aware of the other post. Like I said I think your great, love your blog, think your awesome...don't hate me :/

Christa said...

Actually I didn't see a different post.. What's the link? I saw this on pinterest.. And it was a link to these pictures not a post

Haha I wouldn't hate you for this.. its ok to disagree with what I say and I appreciate you bring this to my attention I do NOT want to look like a copyer so what's the link?

Christa said...

link to the pin

jessica rose @ beautiful mess said...

My daughter slept in the same with bed my fiance and I till she was 6 months and then on and off till she was 8 months. After that, I couldn't did it anymore because I woke up sore from laying in the same position every single night..Some days, I still really miss havomg her sleep right next to me but I'd rather her and I have a decent nights sleep. :]

Nicole M Petersen said...

i totally agree with everything in this post! my husband and i both made the agreement before our son was born that our room is just that..OUR ROOM! of course life you stated if he's sick or wants to cuddle from bad dreams i'll let him snuggle with me but he will be surprised to wake in the morning in his own bed. (of course i'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it seeing as he's only one now) but i definitely feel very strong about keeping our room just for me and my husband. that should be and STAY your sanctuary of privacy!

Etosia (e-tasha) said...

We've been co-sleeping with Rylin since she was 6 weeks old and it hasn't been easy but I have enjoyed it! Getting her out of our bed had been impossible so far (today is her first nap by herself even.) As for playing brown chicken brown cow, yeah lets just say co-sleeping makes that damn near impossible!

Sharisse Lopez said...

I always want to reply to your posts. I hope you don't find my differing opinions to be rude or mean. I actually really like you which is why I want to share my opinion, even if we have different views on things. :)

I co-slept. I will co-sleep with the rest of my babies too. My daughter was in my bed for about two years, then in her own bed in the same room for one, then in her own room around 3 years old. It is unsafe if you drink or do drugs (even prescriptions) and on those nights I put her to bed and slept on the couch. It wasn't a big deal because I didn't do those things a lot anyway. Also having her in the bed made sexy times more fun because it wasn't just in the bed like always. We had to get creative and it spiced things up. You can always go back and snuggle afterwards. It was me in the middle, not like in those photos. This leads me into my next thing: moms (assuming they are sober) will RARELY if ever roll onto their child. The case of babies being smothered is actually more common with dads. Not implying dads can't co-sleep, just saying that is what happens when you hear the roll-over-onto-baby stories.

Everyone is different and has certain limits on what they will allow and what they won't. I do hear horror stories though; one of my best friend's little brother used to throw fits. He'd be so set on sleeping with his parents as an older, school-age child that they'd have to lock the bedroom door. Perhaps I was just blessed with an easy sleeper, but I like to think that we just did the transitions smoothly.

Christa said...

Dont ever feel like you cant disagree with anything i write :)
i dont take it personally, and i dont take it rude :)

If i ever am upset ill address it how i see fit in a not rude way haha.

like i said (and you said) everyone is different and has different patient levels and own lifestyles. as long as you are balancing everything there is no problem right?? :)

Sarah said...

girl i hear ya! that was a not gonna happen when our little man came! I want mine nad hubby time, i NEED sleep and why start a bad habit when it can be avoided all together??

Betty Wright said...

Awesome blog! Interesting read! Following you from the hop! Would appreciate a follow back!

Kaitlyn said...

I totally agree with you. I barely get any time with my husband as it is.. Im not about to ruin that because a kid wants to sleep in my bed. NO way. People forget about their spouses ones kids are involved. Not to be a debbie downer but, those are the people that have ruined, stressed marriages. Which sometimes end in divorce. It's not good for a relationship at all and that is very imporant! I whole heartedly agree!!



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