Monday, April 23, 2012

Who Am I? And WHY Am I Married??

I decided that a waterproof lap top NEEDS to be invented. This is due to my overwhelming desire to BLOG when im in the shower. I mean come on, they think of EVERYTHING you can put in a shower... why not a laptop?! I dont know what it is (probably cuz its my ONLY "alone" time) but when i shower my brain floods with deep random thoughts. And they always fill my brain like as if i was telling someone my thoughts.. in writing form.. as if i was BLOGGING. But really, lets be honest, i LOVE to write. Thats WHY i started blogging.
Anyway.. ill stop rambling and get on with my post. 

I told you that i wanted to do more "Relationship" posts.

Do you ever ponder WHY you are the way you are? WHY you do what you do. Do you ever try to fully understand who you truly are? Do your actions ever confuse you? Like WHY did i just do or say that? Why did i react that way to that situation?

Well i do this all the time. I've always considered going into the profession of being a therapist, or psychologist. I love picking at brains and analyzing people. Why they do what they do. Things like that. But i pick at my own brain too.
When doing this i realize how AWARE i am of my own self. How "in tune" i am with my thoughts, my body, reasons for why i do what i do. I can tell you how i might react to a situation before it even happen. 
But i think the most prominent thing about my self is how HONEST i am with MYSELF. 
I know my true self. I know my deepest thoughts. I dont judge myself. No one else can see what inside my brain. There is no reason to put up a front. So why would i lie to myself.

I consider myself to be a very mature easy going person. But in that same aspect, im not perfect. Im human. Sometimes a situation happens and i react in an immature way. But the thing about that is that i can RECOGNIZE when i do so. And people can call me out on it... yea i might get mad initially, no one likes to hear when they are wrong. But i am left THINKING about what they said. Dwelling almost, but for the good. I analyze myself and dig deep and realize "yea, they were right". So dont be afraid to put me in my place ;)

You might be wondering what this has to do with relationships.

We all know there are MANY key points as to WHY relationships work or dont work. We know that biggest reasons for divorce are money and lust.

But today i want to pin point something that i think plays a HUGE role in making a relationship work!

We all have heard the quote like "you cant love someone else until you love yourself".
Well i completely agree with it. Not only that.. i think you cant make a relationship work until you can make YOURSELF work. Meaning you have to be able to realize your flaws. Realize when you are wrong. Know when you yourself needs to make some adjustments too.

I think all too often we are quick to blame the other person. 
And that can be so destructive in a relationship.

You have to know your partner limits and pet peeves, things like that. But you also have to be aware of your own. Know when you are creating a situation that is going to upset your partner and avoid it. Know when you are creating a situation that is going to upset YOURSELF and avoid it.

It is actually REALLY hard to me to ADMIT when i am wrong. In my head i admit it no problem. I even feel bad and dwell on how i wish i could take back my behavior or words. But its hard for me to VOICE it.

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Anyway, you get the point. 
I think the more we focus on our OWN flaws and fixing our OWN self (no this doesnt mean  that in the process you point out your partners flaws too) and make OUR SELF the best person we can be... the relationship will follow.

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5 comments :

Giggle Business said...

that is sooo true my husband does stuff and doesnt realise hes upset me till its too late we are too opposite and he has a completly different sense of humour to me so for me its hard to know when hes joking but i can tell when he hurts my feelings. I suppose though he finds that vey annoying and doesnt really understand me. I do try but its incredibly hard as thats just the way i am.

Katie said...

It's hard for me to admit when I'm wrong too, but once I do I feel so much better. I think you are absolutely right, you have to love yourself before you can love someone else :)

L said...

This is a wonderful post, thanks for sharing. Such an incredibly valuable skill to have to be able to admit to people when you are wrong. Not easy though I agree =)
Thanks for the challenging words.
Much Love,
L

allglorious-within.blogspot.com

Unknown said...

I am definitely the same way. I will know when I am wrong and I spend way too much time dwelling on what I did/said, why I might have done so, so I apologize or do something about it. Usually I just keep the stuff in my head. I feel like even if I did apologize or did something about it I would just analyze that as well. I definitely think too much on some things!

jessica ♥ The Fevered Pen said...

I actually just posted about recognizing my part in arguments etc! http://thefeveredpen.blogspot.ca/2012/04/love-marriage-on-arguments.html

I think you're SO RIGHT, about fixing yourself first and foremost. You can't own the mistakes/flaws your partner has...that's up to them, but you can own your mistakes and work on fixing them. That's what I'm trying to do :)

I did ask a question in my post, go check it out and maybe you could have some insights for me :)

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