Im starting to feel helpless and trapped (which is a weird emotion) when it comes to my perfect baby boy. I feel like we're constantly trying to play catch up. Like its becoming a part time job trying to keep him at the level of development that other babies are at. and every time i turn my head, a baby his same age is mastering ANOTHER milestone when we're still 2 steps behind working on the first milestone he was struggling with.
For some reason i was heart broken.
Baiden came down with the flu early the next morning, so once he was on the mend with the flu, my mom brain kicked in and i said "well thats why he wasnt holding his head up good! He had the flu coming on. He was weak and tired!". I guess you could say i was in denial.
But those days turned into weeks, and although he was still doing really well with it, was rolling over all the time, somehow rotates himself in circles, he was being "lazy". He'll be on him tummy, hold his head up for a few minutes, then lay it down, and repeat. I thought that was great! But then i learn that other babies his age hold their head up for like 10 minutes at a time or longer. Okay. Is my baby behind? We're on week 3 of working with his tummy time, and he is "progressing" he's just doing the same.
Am i being paranoid? Should i brush it off? I NEVER compared Braylee's milestones with other babies. But then again, she was always right there with other babies and their milestones. Im not MEANING to "compare", im just simply noticing.. and it causes some concern.
People tell me, "Christa, all babies go at their own pace, he's fine". And i know that and i try to comfort myself with that thought.. but what if its more? People say, "Christa, he was a month early, he might just be a little behind till he is older".. and i know that. But Braylee was 3 weeks early (Baiden was 4 weeks early) and Braylee did fine. Does 1 week really make that much of a difference? i just... i dunno.
Im just feeling like we're getting more and more behind.
We have an appt. on Tuesday for a second opinion.
What do you guys think? Anyone been in this situation? Any advice?
9 comments :
My daughter was born a month early and had a lot of similar issues. At 5 months she would only hold her head up for maybe 3-5 minutes and would then fall sideways and roll to her back. Because she wouldn't be on her tummy she developed a huge flat spot on the back of her head. What we did was used a boppy pillow under her tummy during the day so she was in more of a kneeling position and she was forced to keep from getting on her back. She was slow to crawling and slow to walking but she still met those mile stones. The only thing she wasn't slow to was talking lol she's three now and just like every other kid except maybe a bit more friendly with strangers and telling everyone she loves them :] i was worried that she wouldn't be as fast as the other kids because she has always been so small but things turned out really well. I hope your little guy keeps up progress!!
Lincoln was 6 weeks early so I was told right off the bat from the dr (after he spent 28 days in the NICU) that he would be 6 weeks behind in development. In addition to his normal pediatrician he will be seeing a preemie specialist at the hospital every 3 months to make sure he's meeting his ADJUSTED milestones. I know he's doing fine but I'm still anxious for his first appt at the end of March!
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I don't think you're being paranoid, but if you are following up with everything your doctor told you to, then I would suggest that you try to relax. My 9 month-old daughter is healthy but is ALWAYS behind on her milestones. She can sit unsupported now but still DOES NOT pull herself into a sitting position. She has just always hated tummy time and holding her head up so it has put her behind-but she's getting there, little by little. I would say that it's too early to freak out about your son. Some babies are just slow! All you can do is stay up-to-date with all your Dr. appointments and hope for the best. He looks pretty happy and healthy to me!
My daughter was 4.5 weeks early never had a problem holding her head while we held her but she was developmentally behind by 4+ weeks and she is not speaking alot of words she does baby jibber jabber but she doesn't talk like other babies and she didn't even roll over until damn near 6 mo and because I held her too much she got a flat spot on her head, plus we got sent to a specialist because her head was so large (like her daddy's) she didn't crawl until she was almost 10 months then walked at 13 months when all the babies her age were and are doing things she's not and I have that mommy worry but she's really smart I'm a worry wart anyways so I overthink everything but the doctors always tell me it's ok for her to
Be a little behind on stuff we were horrible with tummy time but now she's good and as soon as we jump started her brain it feels like we're ahead of some kids
I had the same problem comparing my daughter to other babies. I always felt like she was 2 steps behind as well.
I feel ya.
We would joke saying "She's just blobbing around."
But you know what, at 10 months, she finally got it. It just clicked.
I would say get the second opinion, but do what you think is right for your baby.
Thank you everyone for the input and kind words :))
My daughter - who was 3 weeks early -was "late" holding her head up, sitting, crawling and walking. But then she talked and did lots of other stuff "early". So can be a mixed bag. And after year those few weeks don't make much difference.
Alice x
Okay I am SUPER behind on blog reading. You probably have this all figured out now but we just went through something where a doctor threw some words and "possible" diagnosis at us that scared the living daylight out of us. I spent the next few hours on the floor bawling my eyes out. Well guess what? She was wrong! Second opinions are always a good idea.
That little boy of yours is GORGEOUS by the way!
Thanks so much for sharing at the Baby Shower - I've made it one of my features this week as I thought it was such a valuable post.
Look forward to seeing you at this week's party Alice x
http://mumsmakelists.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/the-friday-baby-shower-4.html
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