Death & Loss.

I dont know if you've noticed..

But ive been a little MIA.

I told you i was super busy with editing my photography work..

 but on top of that, there have been a few freight train crashes in my life..

If you follow my on Twitter or my FB page, you have probably heard a little bit about this, but my best friends have tragically lost their baby brother, Drake. I talk about Nikki Hatch all the time... and Jarome and Jared Hatch who fight MMA.

My friend Steve put this perfectly. 

"Drake was the youngest of four brothers in a family that has no family boundaries and openly accepts anyone with loving arms. He was the quiet sensitive ying to the turbo charged testosterone driven yang of his brothers. Drake lived his life by his own rule and was an outstanding example of being exactly who you are without regard for what others might think or say."

I never had the chance to get to know Drake, but i feel like i now know him so well. Its really hard for me to see the ones i call my own hurting so much. Seeing the rough exteriors just disintegrate under pain's pressure is not easy to watch for me.. i so badly want to fix it... but one thing is for sure.... is its also so amazing & humbling to FEEL the overwhelming love, strength and bonding. 

My mind has just been in another place this whole week. This family is near and dear to me. They are the type of family that make YOU feel like family. And that is just how i feel. These people are my brothers, my sisters, even Braylee calls Gma Matty Grandma. I cant help but put myself in their situation and i cant hold back the tears every time i do. I couldnt even imagine losing my baby brother. I cant even wrap my head around losing my CHILD, my son, my baby boy.... My heart just shatters.

He was WAY too young to go. But one thing is for SURE.. he has impacted, bonded, and changed his family for the better in ways that he will now know..

Hatch family.. i love you guys. Every shooting star, every chill, every beautiful word that came from a brother's wounded heart, and every sweet memory shared... ill never forget.
Hold tight to those moments. Hold tight to the ones you love.
Life is crazy, life is beautiful, Never forget you have a new guardian angel above.

RIP Drake.

"If life brings you down just remember you must be higher than it." ~Me, Drake Warner

Drake's Obituary Link

If you wish to donate to his funeral fund, the Obituary explained how.

And if you live in Utah, email me and ill tell you about an awesome RAFFLE with awesome PRIZES. 100% proceeds go to Drake's fund.

{chrissyann336@yahoo.com}

Jared, Gavin, Drake, & Jarome. Brothers.

 (Photos taken by me at Jarome's wedding)

"Forever in Our Hearts"

Grandpa's Funeral..

Fred Loveridge Buhler
May 26th 1927- August 24th 2012

My Grandpa met my Grandma while he was in the army.
They were married on June 2nd 1947.

Long story short, they had 15 kids
(the youngest (twins) passed away shortly after birth). So 13 survived.

86 grand kids, 157 great grand kids, and 1 great great grand kid..
Thats a total of  233 descendants..... WOW
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There really isnt much to say about the funeral,
so here is a video my cousin made and some pics that my cousins, Aunt & Uncle all took.

Fred L. Buhlers Funeral from Davey Orgill on Vimeo.

All photos taken by Rochelle (pointedigital.com)

unless otherwise specified

Photo taken by Joe Orgill ^^

All the sons...My dad is the far left and 3rd oldest

 This breaks my heart cuz my Grandparents were the biggest love birds.
Definition of true love..

 Photo taken by Joe Orgill

My in the black&white stripes with my dad..

RIP Grandpa!!

You will forever be loved and missed..

Coping With Death....

"Grandpa has 48 hours to live"....

On August 24th, those words came crashing down on me.

I was really confused. I didnt even know my grandpa was sick! I guess he had been having seizures, and this last seizure paralyzed his throat enabling him to eat or swallow. He was on hospice.. so this last seizure gave him 48 hours to live. My grandma has been pretty sick for YEARS now. No one thought my Grandpa would go before my Grandma. It was just such a huge shock.

After the confusion came the guilt.

Braylee hadnt even met my Grandpa yet, and Braylee is 3 years old! And that really hit me hard. I know we are all busy, and my Grandparents had been in a nursing home sense Bray was born, but how could i loose touch like that? I didnt want Braylee's first time meeting my Grandpa to be when he was on his death bed.. but thats how it was going to be.

I knew i had to go that evening to go see my Grandpa.

On the car ride up to where my grandpa was, i had a lot going through my head. The guilt. How hard it was going to be to see my goofy Grandpa in such a horrible state. 

Me (and fam), My sister (and her fam) with my Grandma.

(Photo taken by my Aunt Rosanne)

Braylee's first time meeting my grandparents was so sweet. She was shy but kept smiling at them. Would point as say "mom that's your grandma!" "Mom thats your Grandpa!".

Ive never had anyone close to me pass away yet. Not a family member. So this was my first Grandparent to go. My Grandpa Buhler was the Grandpa i was closer to i guess you could say (My other Grandpa lives in Connecticut). As kids my dad took us to Grandma and Grandpa's house almost every Sunday. We'd get there, go straight to the penny stache, and get some gum out of the gum ball machine. My Grandpa's farm was on about 20 acres of land. Streams, huge swing set, coal piles, out house, full of animals, HUNDREDS of cars, and lots of other things. The cousins loved to explore it. So many good memories.

The next morning, my Grandpa passed...

Im so glad we made it up there that night.

RIP Grandpa...
(will post on the funeral another day)