Cutting the Cord...

"To raise a child, who is comfortable enough to leave you, means you've done your job,they are not ours to keep, but to teach them to soar on their own."
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Braylee has started Pre-school/Pre-K

I have attachment issues with my kids LOL. I bet that statement comes as a surprise to  my family and friends (MUCH sarcasm there lol). Its been interesting to have Braylee go to pre-school. She's never gone to a day care or babysitter that hasnt been my family. 

I REALLY hate not knowing what she's doing while she's gone. Im so used to being present in everything she does that its been a huge reality check that my baby isnt a baby anymore.

But on the same page, i am really stoked for her to be in school. Braylee is my "difficult" child. But i really believe the reason she acts out is cuz she gets bored. She is always busy! Learning, playing, imagining, reading, coloring. She is so smart and always has been. She counts to 30 without missing a #. Knows all the colors, most letters, identifies # and letters out in public. And i don't encourage any of this! Im not a mom who forces my kids to be above their level and quizzes them and hands them things to work on (not that any of that is bad.... its just not what i do). She does this herself. She starts spitting out #s and letters she sees. Walks around counting. etc etc. She is just this little sponge who is going to go far with her smarts!

So im glad that her preschool really focuses on reading. Cuz thats really the only area she's never really explored. She has something to learn instead of repeat. So im stoked for her.

Reality has set in that my baby is far from my baby.
She is a little girl who is starting her journey at becoming an independent adult. The more years that pass, the more I have loosen up that mom grip and let her grow. So hard for me to accept, but at least I have many years to work on it :)

Dealing With A Difficult Child...

We all know they are out there... "that kid". 

The one that wont share, the one that hits, the one that doesn't listen. The kid that talks back and mouths off.... "THAT kid"

Well what if that kid happens to be YOUR kid??

Braylee isnt "THAT kid", but she has the tendency to be that kid lol.

This post is mostly my advice on dealing with a difficult child. My situation.. followed by a 5 step process in how to handle a difficult child :)))

Before i get into this, let me just state that i LOVE my baby girl. My tiny peanut princess who made me a mother for the first time. She is my BEST friend and i really mean that!

I write this post to maybe help other parents who have a kid like mine.

Ok. lets begin.

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From day ONE (ok maybe day 3), Braylee has been DIFFICULT. We brought her home from the hospital and she would sleep for about 2 hours at a time, but then would wake up to eat, and not go back to sleep. This turned into her being backwards with her sleeping. Basically she slept all day, and was awake all night. I kid you not, this lasted 2 WHOLE MONTHS! Mom got no sleep.

In that 2 months, Braylee eventually developed acid reflux and colic. So she kept me up all night, and would scream non stop all day. I swear she never slept...

Yes, there was a light at the end of the tunnel with the sleep. Slowly but surely, at 1 years old, Braylee would sleep through the night.

Once she was 12 months old. Her terrible 2's started! I figured, oh joy, she is going to have her terrible 2 stage now, and be a normal 2 year old! NOPE. It got worse at age 2. Then people started telling me, "oh you just wait till she's 3. It gets worse.". I figured there is NO way.. WORSE then this tantrum throwing devil 2 year old?? No she had terrible 1's, terrible 2's, we are going to have a GOOD 3 year old! Literally, the day she turned 2, she threw THE WORST tantrum EVER on her bday, and terrible 3's began!

Now. She eventually mellowed out at 3 1/2 years old... but i have just come to terms, that Braylee is my "difficult child" and always will be. Thats just Braylee.

Braylee has to do things HER way, on HER time. She has always been that way. She is feisty, loud, jealous.. my mom calls her little Tinkerbell :). She will let you know when she is mad. She has no shame making a scene out on public.

Now dong get me wrong. Braylee has manners, she is a sweet girl, she plays well with her friends. She has the sweetest little voice, she defends her friends (especially younger kids). She really is a good kid! But at the drop of a dime, her temper can get the best of her..

Now why is this?

How can she be so good, but so bad??

Maybe Braylee is this way because she is a Gemini (split personality thing). Maybe she got some of her fathers bipolar disorder.. who knows!

But what I think... is that we are just handling Braylee correctly!

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THIS is where my parental advice comes in!

• Let them BE them self!

-Like i mentioned, Braylee just IS they way she is. We know this. And we love her for this. We know she is feisty  We know she is GREAT at expressing her emotions.. and we dont try to change her. We help her to maybe handle things in a better way.. remind her... but i would NEVER try to make Braylee stop being the way she is. She likes to handle things on her own time, so we let her do that (unless the situation calls for something otherwise).

• • LET your kid express them self!
  -Not letting your child properly deal with their emotions is SO bad on your child! Children act the way they do for a reason! They are learning WHAT their emotions are and how to handle them. Only disciplining and not letting them express them self only makes inner destruction in your child. If they cant deal with their emotions.. it becomes destructive.
  -BUT, in the same sense, be a parent! Dont LET them hit. Dont LET them kick doors down. Dont LET them mouth off and talk back to you... 
  which brings me to my next advise.. 
  
  
• Get to the bottom of the problem!

-Anger is a SECONDARY emotion. There is ALWAYS a different emotion that leads you into anger. Frustration, sorrow, confusion, etc. Think about it. Anytime you're mad, its because your sad about something (like you gained a pound that day) and that makes you mad. or you're confused, which can lead you to be angry. Kids dont always know WHY they feel angry.. and it can scare them! Hence temper tantrums. They are mostly scared and confused at WHAT they are feeling. They dont know what sorrow is, or confusion. They dont understand WHY a kid would take their toy, etc. 

• UNDERSTAND

-I think understanding is one of the hardest things to do for us humans. Its hard to put ourselves in other peoples shoes. Its hard to see things from another persons view. Especially cuz we add in our own life experiences. Example, its hard to sympathize with someone who is pregnant and complaining, when your pregnancy was 10 TIMES worse (just as an example lol). And with children.. we dont always take into mind that to a 2 year old or a young child.. someone taking their toy IS the end of their perfect little world. A tooth cutting through IS the WORST pain they have ever experienced cuz they havent had the life experience of something worse! Feeling sorrow and anger is new to them! So just try to understand!

• RELAX!

-Lastly... RELAX! Dont sweat the small stuff! So they're throwing a temper tantrum cuz they want a string cheese.. Well is it really THAT big of a deal that they cant have one? So they want to stay at the park 5 more minutes.... is it really THAT big of a deal to stay 5 more minutes? So they made a mess of your makeup.. did they break anything? did they ruin anything?? Then RELAX!

Yes it might slow you down and you might be in a hurry, but if your kid wants to try to buckle their own seat belt.. is it really that big of a deal to just let them do it?!

Dont make a bigger deal of something then it needs to be! :))

Sick Times...

Im gonna make this post brief.

I REALLY need to get all caught up in my blogging haha. BUT its all in the video if you are interested!

So 3 weeks ago (when Baiden was 3 weeks old). Braylee SOME how got sick. I've been sheltering and bubble wrapping my kids as best i could but some how.. Braylee got sick. Either from dance, or from a trip to Walmart. Anyway, Bray get croup SO easily. And thats what she got!

We took her to the E.R to get a steroid shot because i wanted to get it gone ASAP with a 3 week old baby! And well it worked. She never had the croupy cough again.. but for a full week, she had a bad cough.

I was SO anxious about Baby boy getting sick. I was washing my hands every 5 minutes. Lysoling everything. Clorox wiping everything. Washing sheets and blankets regularly. My hands were literally cracked, gross, and bleeding!

The next week, JEFF gets sick. He went to work on Thursday healthy, got rained on all day, came home sick. Started with a sore throat and neck. Turned into no hearing in his left ear and loosing his voice. He went into an insta-care after work that Friday, they said it was a virus, nothing they can do, and sent him home.

For the next week.. Jeff slept in a different room and didnt touch Baiden at all so that he wouldnt get him sleep. 

Then i think it was Thursday, Jeff went to his doctor to get a second opinion  come to find out, Jeff has an infection behind his throat, and a sinus infection. Got a shot in his butt, and some amniotic meds to take.

I was THRILLED that all my blood hands and hard worked had paid off!

But then it happened....

Baiden got sick :(

He developed a little cough that gradually got worse, and then he got congested, so we took him in to the doc. Turns out he has an upper respiratory infection. Scary stuff for a newborn. You cant start antibiotics with a newborn cuz it kills off the good stuff as well as bad stuff, so we were sent home to pray that it didnt turn into a secondary infection (RSV).

SOOO so sad.

My poor little man ran a fever for a few days and we couldnt give him tylenol cuz if he needed to be admitted, we needed to know his true temp.

All we could do was run a humidifier, do saline nose drops, and suck his nose out.

Needless to say.. i got little sleep and stayed up all night with my baby boy to watch over him. RSV isnt a sickness to take lightly. So i watched his breathing and fever closely.

Here we are, a week later, Baiden is 6 weeks old,

and im happy to say, Baiden is on the mend!

Fever and congestion is gone (the scary stuff). His cough is pretty much all gone, and so we just are continuing to suck his nose out.

Adjusting To New Baby {Week 2&3}

As mentioned in my previous post, week 1 was just great. But week 2, i had some personal struggles.

Baiden was still amazing and super easy, and Braylee was still attention seeking, maybe a little bit more than week 1, but still not too bad. But for ME, all my stress and emotions that i had been suppressing, started to hit me hard. Jeff goes into work at 3:30am and drives truck, so he can NOT go to work tired. You just cant drive a semi truck sleepy. So i get up all night by myself. Well all the NICU drama, emergency D&C drama, photo shoots, being stressed about editing, and now adding in the lack of sleep.... I finally had a breakdown.

I was super moody, emotional, and stressed out week 2 and 3. It was crunch time on editing. I was really feeling very overwhelmed. I was feeling cooped up and like my life was just a blur! Like i didnt know where my day went! The 2 hour feedings, trying to attend to a 3 year old, trying to edit, i barely even fit time in for me to eat meals at a normal time (breakfast at 2pm... really??), get ready, or even shower. Overwhelmed is in understatement.

My amazing husband is responsible for holding me together and getting me through the days. He is so supportive, says just what i need to hear. Come home from long days at work with flowers and is so eager to help. I dont even have to ask. I have my amazing family, close friends, and sweet neighbors to thank too! I dont think we made dinner for a good week and a half after we brought Baiden home. We received gifts, diapers, cards, calls, just OVERWHELMING love and caring. Basically my negative overwhelmed feelings, and my positive overwhelmed feelings, kinda evened out. I was just a big emotional mess, positive and negative!

WEEK 3: The beginning of week 3 i think i had another break down. I'd take a shower and just BAWL. I had no control over my emotions but boy did it feel good to just let it out! BUT we have good news! Week 3 was when i started feeling a little more together. Getting the hang of things. Feeling good! There was a sense of calm that week. Mostly cuz i got my wedding edited and finished only 2 days late :) What a relief! Things were just great. It was a nice break before MORE stress...

At the end of week 3, Braylee woke up one night just crying and coughing. I went into her room and there it was! The croup barky cough :( Braylee gets it SOO easily. I dont even know where she got it. We seriously went out of the house like twice sense Baiden was born :( So we took her to the ER to get the steriod shot before it got worse and to protect the new tiny baby. That worked! No more croupy cough.. but Bray had a good nasty cough for the next week... HOLY ANXIETY!!!!

And dont you even fret... week 4... things got even worse as far as sickness. But ill talk about all that in my week 4&5 post... basically... PRAY FOR US! :(

Adjusting To New Baby.. {Week 1}

Alright. Lets talk about how we are doing with new baby :)

I heard that going from 1 kid to 2 kids is the hardest. After that (kid #3,4 etc) is easy peasy. And well, i dont have 3 kids, nor will i probably ever have 3 kids, but it makes sense! I mean, your fist kid is used to ALL the attention, ALL the toys to themselves etc. Yea, they play with other kids here and there on play dates, day care, school, whatever. But they always get to go home to being the ONLY kid! So where there is a new sibling.. all that changes.

Now week one for us was BLISSFUL! So amazing.

We were at the hospital for 3 days with room service, nurses to help, great food, and babysitters at night so you can get some sleep! Braylee was on vacation mode with her cousin Kallee and was just loving life!

Braylee LOVES her brother. She gets the biggest smile when she see's him. Always says "Thats my baby BROTHER!" "He's so cute mom!". She always wants to hold him and help anyway she can. 

She'd come to the hospital, get so excited over brother, and then say "k cha-chee" (thats what she calls my sister). "Lets go to your house to play". She seriously was having the time of her life haha.

 When we left the hospital, we went to go get Braylee, and she did not want to come home with us haha. Kinda made me sad.

 We had a game plan for Braylee to make sure she didnt feel "replaced" or have resentment toward brother. We planned that Jeff and i would takes turns having one on one time. Take Braylee out for ice cream of something. Jeff was so excited to take Braylee to dance during his week home from work and Braylee was too, she is such a daddy's girl.

 (4 days old going to first doc appt)

 But even when brother was home with us.. Braylee was SO good with her brother. Always wanting to help, always wanting to hold, its the cutest thing.

But Braylee with US, is a whole other story!

During the fist week, Braylee was REALLY testing her limits with us. She'd find the SILLIEST things to make a big deal about. She became more mischievous, sneaky, and down right defiant. She'd do something bad, we'd get after her about it, and she'd just smile and laugh! (little terd lol).

But Jeff was home from work so it wasnt all that bad! We'd take turns with our patients level with who dealt with which kid haha.

 Ok now for Baiden's side of the situation and coming home!

Baiden is the EASIEST baby! He is so so chill and SO super sweet. Braylee was a hard newborn. She wouldnt sleep, was backwards with her nights and days when she did sleep, and developed colic which made for a REALLY fussy baby. Jeff works REALLY early, and LONG days (especially during the summer when Bray was born). And he drives truck. He can NOT go to work sleepy. So i was doing the up at night thing all by myself, then she'd be up all day and Jeff would be gone all day. I was a new mommy, it was just HARD.

 Baiden though is so sleepy! He sleeps all night, all day. Well at night he wakes up about every 2 hours to eat, but then goes right back to sleep! And Jeff was home the first week (didnt do that with Braylee cuz we NEEDED the money). So getting up at night was actually fun!

I loved the new baby thing and snuggling him at night and feeding him. And i always had Jeff if i did need a break or needed to nap during the day (which i never did).

So yea, week one was AMAZING! Yes Braylee was a little difficult but not bad at all! I loved the help from hubby and everything was just wonderful. 

We had this sweet new baby and a beautiful baby girl who loved him! It is SOO amazing seeing her as a big sister. Words can not even describe the amazing feeling it is being a parent of 2 and seeing your kids interact. And having a boy is SOOO different!! My bond with him is so different.

Everyone worries "how can i POSSIBLE love another person as much as i love my first child?!". Oh, its possible. Your heart just grows 10 million times bigger! But i personally never worried about that.

What i worried about, was Braylee feeling replaced. I mean, it is what it is, newborns are SO demanding and need LOTS of attention. But Braylee is doing very well. I think it helps that she is 3 though and not 18 months-2 years old like most age difference is with other parents.

Anyway! Thats week one!!

Week 1= AMAZING :)

Dance Your Heart Out..

Alright, i know you all are waiting for a birth story.. but im OCD and i gotta post in order and we had some big events that cant be skipped. Ill try to rush through and keep these short series posts :)

So Braylee started dance!

I contemplated on doing 2 years of pre-school, or dance... and well, Braylee is already really advanced with school type stuff and most people do the extra year of pre-school mostly for the social interaction. So i figured she'd get that social interaction with dance.

I was a little worried that she would be too scared or not enjoy it...

But she LOVES dance and is always so super excited to go. She just runs right over to her teacher and does her thing! So cute to watch.

Vlogging Vednesday {All About Bray}

Quick word of business..
I think i might do away with linking up for vlogging vednedsay.
Ill still vlog on wednesdays. But i just might be done with the themes and linking up cuz no one is really linking up. SO. yea. haha.

Anyway, this week im talking about Braylee :)


Now make your vlog,
link up,
and grab a button for your Blog!

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Also, i did a guest post today about tantrums!!
Go check it out!
---> HERE <---