The Damaging Truth About "Ghosting"

Sharing my life struggles and tips to help others going through similar stuff. Ghosting is SO prevalent now a days with social media so i wanted to discuss the damage it does. Website i referenced: phychologytoday.com

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Trapped In War..

This is been sitting in my drafts for a while.

guess ill finally brave up and post it.

i like to write :)

be easy.

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I feel like I'm flying
but I'm chained to the ground
im screaming so loudly
but not making a sound

Im strong
Im stable
at least thats how it would appear
But I'm slapped with reality
Every time i look in the mirror

Im crashing
I'm burning
my face is down in the dirt
my voice speaks so proudly
while my heart screams with hurt

"put on your armor
put on your mask
you're not allowed to feel anger
you're not allowed to lose your grasp"

The beast is in its cage
but its filling with rage

my emotions are contained
but I'm going insane!

bottle it up, keep it tight
Keep going.. don't dim your light.

Im the soldier!
Im the shield!
There is no time for my broken heart to be healed.

But if I'm this warrior i talk myself up to be..
why is it that i allow everyone else to hurt me?

How can i be a warrior, if weapons i lack.
its like I'm fighting with my hands, tied behind my back

will i ever be good enough?
will i make it out of this scuff?

I'm broken and bruised
I'm tired of being used

this battle I'm losing
its all so confusing

im lost in this war
the enemy? I'm unsure.

I'm swinging my fists
I'm taking all the risks.
I'm giving my all..
but no one will be there when i finally fall

Who are you fighting?
Who is your enemy...
then i finally realize
I'm at war........with me.

Blessed.

Im so incredibly blessed.

blessed to be where i am at right now in life, but also blessed for my past.

 Friendships I've made (even though we aren't in the least bit close at all anymore. but thats ok cuz we always pick up where we left off! and i cherish friendships that have that ability). Friendships that didn't work out, friendships that did.

Im blessed for all my trials, my auto-immune disease thats attacking my metabolism, my bad knees, my health issues that made me gain a million pounds, all the people who have hurt me and used me. all MY mistakes.
Because of those things... i am a warrior, I'm a champion, NOTHING will hold me back. It EMPOWERS me to be better and work HARDER!
Im not bitter, I'm not hateful, i actually THANK people for treating me poorly cuz it teaches me patience, and forgiveness, and without those people, i wouldn't know those great attributes.

But most importantly... I'm so blessed and thankful for where i am at RIGHT now!

Every path in the past has led me to the people and life i have right now.
i have an amazing husband. We aren't perfect but we have a perfect ability to TRY and MEND. My amazing babies here on earth and the ones who were taken back early to watch over us until we meet again.

My amazing family. The saying "we may not have it all together, but together we have it all" should be our family slogan. We all clash at times, but no matter WHAT, we are die hard for each other.

My amazing JOB. What i do is a little bit out of the norm of a standard job. In a traditional job.. its all about putting others down to make you look better. If you want to get to the top of a company and make the real money, you have to claw your way to the top. Be better, look better, its all a competition. If someone is better then you in the company, they are a threat..

NOT IN MY JOB

In my job, the only way you can be successful is to reach down and HELP your team. There is no competition. You are your own boss, go at your own pace, make as little or as much money as you choose.
We CELEBRATE everything!
We celebrate our health. We celebrate our achievements. We congratulate and get so excited for people we don't even personally know!
My team goes OUT OF THEIR way to help me.
I couldnt feel more blessed in the path that led me here!

And lastly....
Im so incredibly BLESSED for the FRIENDSHIPS I've made. The people in my life are so in tune with true happiness. Im surrounded with such positive people who are selfless, caring, & empowering.
They lift me up when I'm down. When I'm sad, they are right by my side. But better yet.. when I'm HAPPY, they are even more RIGHT BY MY SIDE cheering me on. Ive been so used to the opposite of that for WAY too long. I feel like we are always laughing, growing, and helping others.

This is a movement!

A shift in whats "normal"

i refuse to get stuck in the ways people think are just "normal" in life.

Its not normal to wish bad on people.

Its not normal to hope to be better then others.

Its not normal to go to school our WHOLE life, PAY for lots of school, acquire debt, just to HOPEFULLY get a job, so slave away at all day, 5 days a week (if you're lucky and its not 6 or 7 days a week), to retire at 65 years old to FINALLY live your life how you truly want.
I REFUSE to be left feeling helpless if i lost my job tomorrow,
how would i pay my bills.

I REFUSE to beg for certain days off.

I REFUSE to have to acquire vacations days just to pay bills while i take time off.

I REFUSE to work opposite of my husband.

Im DONE missing out.

i live my life PASSIONATELY, fully, and INCREDIBLY!

and i get to help people feel healthy and financially safe at the same time!

I AM SO BLESSED!

Dealing With A Difficult Child...

We all know they are out there... "that kid". 

The one that wont share, the one that hits, the one that doesn't listen. The kid that talks back and mouths off.... "THAT kid"

Well what if that kid happens to be YOUR kid??

Braylee isnt "THAT kid", but she has the tendency to be that kid lol.

This post is mostly my advice on dealing with a difficult child. My situation.. followed by a 5 step process in how to handle a difficult child :)))

Before i get into this, let me just state that i LOVE my baby girl. My tiny peanut princess who made me a mother for the first time. She is my BEST friend and i really mean that!

I write this post to maybe help other parents who have a kid like mine.

Ok. lets begin.

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From day ONE (ok maybe day 3), Braylee has been DIFFICULT. We brought her home from the hospital and she would sleep for about 2 hours at a time, but then would wake up to eat, and not go back to sleep. This turned into her being backwards with her sleeping. Basically she slept all day, and was awake all night. I kid you not, this lasted 2 WHOLE MONTHS! Mom got no sleep.

In that 2 months, Braylee eventually developed acid reflux and colic. So she kept me up all night, and would scream non stop all day. I swear she never slept...

Yes, there was a light at the end of the tunnel with the sleep. Slowly but surely, at 1 years old, Braylee would sleep through the night.

Once she was 12 months old. Her terrible 2's started! I figured, oh joy, she is going to have her terrible 2 stage now, and be a normal 2 year old! NOPE. It got worse at age 2. Then people started telling me, "oh you just wait till she's 3. It gets worse.". I figured there is NO way.. WORSE then this tantrum throwing devil 2 year old?? No she had terrible 1's, terrible 2's, we are going to have a GOOD 3 year old! Literally, the day she turned 2, she threw THE WORST tantrum EVER on her bday, and terrible 3's began!

Now. She eventually mellowed out at 3 1/2 years old... but i have just come to terms, that Braylee is my "difficult child" and always will be. Thats just Braylee.

Braylee has to do things HER way, on HER time. She has always been that way. She is feisty, loud, jealous.. my mom calls her little Tinkerbell :). She will let you know when she is mad. She has no shame making a scene out on public.

Now dong get me wrong. Braylee has manners, she is a sweet girl, she plays well with her friends. She has the sweetest little voice, she defends her friends (especially younger kids). She really is a good kid! But at the drop of a dime, her temper can get the best of her..

Now why is this?

How can she be so good, but so bad??

Maybe Braylee is this way because she is a Gemini (split personality thing). Maybe she got some of her fathers bipolar disorder.. who knows!

But what I think... is that we are just handling Braylee correctly!

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THIS is where my parental advice comes in!

• Let them BE them self!

-Like i mentioned, Braylee just IS they way she is. We know this. And we love her for this. We know she is feisty  We know she is GREAT at expressing her emotions.. and we dont try to change her. We help her to maybe handle things in a better way.. remind her... but i would NEVER try to make Braylee stop being the way she is. She likes to handle things on her own time, so we let her do that (unless the situation calls for something otherwise).

• • LET your kid express them self!
  -Not letting your child properly deal with their emotions is SO bad on your child! Children act the way they do for a reason! They are learning WHAT their emotions are and how to handle them. Only disciplining and not letting them express them self only makes inner destruction in your child. If they cant deal with their emotions.. it becomes destructive.
  -BUT, in the same sense, be a parent! Dont LET them hit. Dont LET them kick doors down. Dont LET them mouth off and talk back to you... 
  which brings me to my next advise.. 
  
  
• Get to the bottom of the problem!

-Anger is a SECONDARY emotion. There is ALWAYS a different emotion that leads you into anger. Frustration, sorrow, confusion, etc. Think about it. Anytime you're mad, its because your sad about something (like you gained a pound that day) and that makes you mad. or you're confused, which can lead you to be angry. Kids dont always know WHY they feel angry.. and it can scare them! Hence temper tantrums. They are mostly scared and confused at WHAT they are feeling. They dont know what sorrow is, or confusion. They dont understand WHY a kid would take their toy, etc. 

• UNDERSTAND

-I think understanding is one of the hardest things to do for us humans. Its hard to put ourselves in other peoples shoes. Its hard to see things from another persons view. Especially cuz we add in our own life experiences. Example, its hard to sympathize with someone who is pregnant and complaining, when your pregnancy was 10 TIMES worse (just as an example lol). And with children.. we dont always take into mind that to a 2 year old or a young child.. someone taking their toy IS the end of their perfect little world. A tooth cutting through IS the WORST pain they have ever experienced cuz they havent had the life experience of something worse! Feeling sorrow and anger is new to them! So just try to understand!

• RELAX!

-Lastly... RELAX! Dont sweat the small stuff! So they're throwing a temper tantrum cuz they want a string cheese.. Well is it really THAT big of a deal that they cant have one? So they want to stay at the park 5 more minutes.... is it really THAT big of a deal to stay 5 more minutes? So they made a mess of your makeup.. did they break anything? did they ruin anything?? Then RELAX!

Yes it might slow you down and you might be in a hurry, but if your kid wants to try to buckle their own seat belt.. is it really that big of a deal to just let them do it?!

Dont make a bigger deal of something then it needs to be! :))