Social Media! {MY Truth}

As mentioned in this video.
I made this video to just clarify and address my relationship with social media.
Why i do what i do.
and the TRUTH of any intensions :)

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Whats Your REASON?

We've all seen "THE PICTURE"

The pic that rocked everyone's world cuz a fit mom took a pic with her kids.

here ill ring some bells.

For the record, i love Marias pic and her message. She meant it in a positive way, to be an example.

Everyone is all bent out of shape cuz she should have "worded it differently".

i say, she worded it perfectly.

Those who got mad, are getting mad at the wrong person,

Moving on.

Well i say..

Whats Your REASON for being healthy!

My reasons are my kids and my disorder.

I want to be a good example for them. I want to be FIT because of them, not "ruined" because of them.

How horrible does that sound to blame our bodies on our kids?

And my hypothyroidism. I want to be able to say SUCK IT thyroid!

I WIN!

:))

So find YOUR reason… and accomplish your goals :)

Death & Loss.

I dont know if you've noticed..

But ive been a little MIA.

I told you i was super busy with editing my photography work..

 but on top of that, there have been a few freight train crashes in my life..

If you follow my on Twitter or my FB page, you have probably heard a little bit about this, but my best friends have tragically lost their baby brother, Drake. I talk about Nikki Hatch all the time... and Jarome and Jared Hatch who fight MMA.

My friend Steve put this perfectly. 

"Drake was the youngest of four brothers in a family that has no family boundaries and openly accepts anyone with loving arms. He was the quiet sensitive ying to the turbo charged testosterone driven yang of his brothers. Drake lived his life by his own rule and was an outstanding example of being exactly who you are without regard for what others might think or say."

I never had the chance to get to know Drake, but i feel like i now know him so well. Its really hard for me to see the ones i call my own hurting so much. Seeing the rough exteriors just disintegrate under pain's pressure is not easy to watch for me.. i so badly want to fix it... but one thing is for sure.... is its also so amazing & humbling to FEEL the overwhelming love, strength and bonding. 

My mind has just been in another place this whole week. This family is near and dear to me. They are the type of family that make YOU feel like family. And that is just how i feel. These people are my brothers, my sisters, even Braylee calls Gma Matty Grandma. I cant help but put myself in their situation and i cant hold back the tears every time i do. I couldnt even imagine losing my baby brother. I cant even wrap my head around losing my CHILD, my son, my baby boy.... My heart just shatters.

He was WAY too young to go. But one thing is for SURE.. he has impacted, bonded, and changed his family for the better in ways that he will now know..

Hatch family.. i love you guys. Every shooting star, every chill, every beautiful word that came from a brother's wounded heart, and every sweet memory shared... ill never forget.
Hold tight to those moments. Hold tight to the ones you love.
Life is crazy, life is beautiful, Never forget you have a new guardian angel above.

RIP Drake.

"If life brings you down just remember you must be higher than it." ~Me, Drake Warner

Drake's Obituary Link

If you wish to donate to his funeral fund, the Obituary explained how.

And if you live in Utah, email me and ill tell you about an awesome RAFFLE with awesome PRIZES. 100% proceeds go to Drake's fund.

{chrissyann336@yahoo.com}

Jared, Gavin, Drake, & Jarome. Brothers.

 (Photos taken by me at Jarome's wedding)

"Forever in Our Hearts"

Skin Cancer?? Me??

"ONE in FIVE Americans 

will develop skin cancer in the course of their lifetime"

{DISCLAIMER: This information is to HELP, not scare. I had a run in with skin cancer, researched some stuff, and wanted to share to make awareness! This post is for those who will appreciate the info. Read no further if you want to stay ignorant (Lacking knowledge or awareness in general) and in denial of skin cancer rising cases}

Also! Remember vitamin D (from the sun) is GOOD for you! All in moderation guys!

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Im super late in posting this... but May is national skin cancer awareness month. This hits REALLY close to home with me, cuz skin cancer runs in my family.. And i had a little scare with it...

 Yup. Thats MY leg.

When i first noticed it.. i assumed it was just in ingrown hair or something. 

But as the time past, it never went away! Then i noticed it was growing.

It stopped growing so I ignored it for probably almost a year..

Then i finally decided to pull my head out of you know where, and realize that with my history of tanning, and my family history of skin cancer.. i better get it checked.

Walking into the dermatologist office, i had a lot going through my head. I told myself, if it WAS cancer, they just cut it off and im good right??
WRONG!

Well turns out its nothing to worry about and it doesnt need to be removed unless it starts getting bigger again.....

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Im so glad that it turned out to be nothing, but i REALLY want to help spread awareness of how serious this epidemic is.

Skin cancer rates are growing MORE and MORE. Why is this?? Because girls are addicted to NEEDING that bronze, golden tan. Its all in the magazines.. its what we think we need. We think it makes us prettier, skinnier, no one was to be glowing white right?

And to achieve that.... we hit the tanning beds!

Dont deny it... we've all done it! Its the craze! We love to lay out! Its fun!

WELL STOP!

(PHOTO CREDIT)

Seriously girls, just drop it! Tanning beds are the new cigarettes! Once upon a time, everyone was doing it! Yea maybe there were health risks, but WHO CARES! Cancer wont happen to ME!

Well the rates grew and grew, awareness was made more and more known, and here we are! Smoking is like the plague now.... well tanning beds are next. BAN THEM!

Even if you're not worried about skin cancer... girls tanning, UV rays.. all that jazz... gives you WRINKLES and SUN SPOTS and ugly skin! It ages you SO much!

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PREVENTION!

• Avoid the sun between 10am-2pm: -This is when the sun’s rays are strongest, so if you can steer clear of the sun during these peak hours, do so! If you are outside during these times, be sure to wear sunscreen!

• DO NOT BURN! -A person’s risk for melanoma doubles if he or she has had five or more sunburns at any point in life.

• Wear UV protected sunglasses! -Many forget how harmful the sun can be on our eyes in conjunction to our skin. Be sure to wear sunglasses that defend against rays which can impair your eyesight. 

• AVOID ARTIFICIAL TANNING -Yes i am guilty of that as well as EVERY girl. The last time i used a tanning bed was in 2012.. Its never too late to stop! As much as you may like the way you look when you’re tan, it’s extremely harmful  to purposely make your skin this way. Never use tanning beds or any other simulated tanning device. These are just as bad as the actual sun.

• Always Wear Sunscreen! -Whether you’re on your way to the beach or the office, use SPF 15 or greater whenever stepping out into the sun. Look for a sunscreen which blocks both UVA and UVB rays. Apply the sunscreen 30 minutes before sun exposure and reapply every 1 ½ to 2 hours.

• Use UV protective Makeup and Chapstick! -We never think much about it but our FACE is in the sun the most! Winter, summer, ALWAYS exposed! And our face is what we want to keep the prettiest right?! Foundations and chapsticks can have UV protection! Sometimes girls worry about the "shine" with flash photography and UV foundation...but hello.. requiring a flash means its DARK and the sun is gone... so just wash it off and put on foundation without sunscreen at night! TA-DA!

• Keep Newborn Out of the Sun -Sunscreens may be used on babies over the age of six months, but they should also be protected by shade and clothing. Children are very sensitive to ultraviolet radiation— just one severe sunburn in childhood doubles the chances of developing melanoma later in life. It BREAKS my heart when i see parents not put sunscreen on their kids....

Keep in Check!

• Always check your body
• See dermatologist yearly!

And MOST importantly!! Remember... there is no discrimination to the COLOR of your skin! If you are naturally darker (whether is race or you just tan easily).. you STILL ARE SUSCEPTIBLE TO SKIN CANCER!!

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WITH ALL THIS BEING SAID....

You can STILL have a tan without the UV rays!!

Im going to post about self tanners! Ive been trying a product and i am in LOVE! 

I am tan, NOT ORANGE. I get compliments all the time... LOVE LOVE LOVE!

Stay tuned!

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SURVIVING The First 4 Days Of a Tummy Tuck!

When considering the recovery time of a tummy tuck, i knew it would be hard and painful the first few days. But i didnt know that i wouldnt be able to do ANYTHING by myself.

Im surprised i can wipe my own bum by myself.

So going into a tummy, i had to stop taking aspirin or anything containing aspirin (ibuprofen included) at LEAST 2 weeks before surgery. VERY important so you dont bleed too much during surgery.

2 days before surgery, i had to wash my tummy with a special antiseptic skin cleanser 2 times. Monday night, and the night before surgery. I also had to start my antibiotic pills the night before surgery.

The night before, we slept at my sisters house so we didnt have to wake the kids up early when we had to leave for surgery. I was nervous the night before surgery, but the BEST way to explain how i was feeling.. was just SURREAL. I couldnt grasp that it was actually happening. That the misery and embarrassment that i had been dealing with for FOUR years, was finally going to be gone.

I didnt sleep well that night. And at about 4:40 a.m, Baiden woke up and wouldnt go back to sleep, probably cuz we were sleeping at a new place for him. But i gladly got up with him, went downstairs, and just held him and sung to him and watched him sleep. I knew that after surgery, i wouldnt be able to pick him up and care for him for at LEAST a month. Which is hard, cuz he's my baby. He's 6 months old, and depends on me for everything. So i soaked it all in!

5:30 a.m rolled around, and we were off, headed for surgery. The drive there was a blur, so surreal. We got there at 6:00 a.m, paid the remainder for surgery. signed my papers, took a pregnancy test, got in my cool surgery get up, and started my i.v. 

My surgeon Came in, drew on my tummy marking the areas he needed to work on, talked to me, and i dont know how, but after talking to him, felt more calm and ready for surgery. (No, they didnt put drugs in my i.v yet lol).

I went back for surgery, was joking around with the anesthesiologist, asked if he started my meds cuz i was feeling funny and happy... and thats all i remember! LOL

Ok..... Now here is the stuff you need to be prepared for, and know how to survive it.

Coming out of anesthesia is different for everyone, but i had a hard time with it. Its pretty cloudy, but i woke up CONVULSING and shivering. I was chilly and in pain, but i dont think thats WHY i shivering so much, but i could not control it. I remember seeing jeffs face, then i calmed down and went back to sleep.

Woke up with a heater blowing on me, tons of blankets, and a nurse saying it was time to get up and move into a chair then a different room to recover. Whaaaaa?!! I didnt want to move. But i had to.

HOLY CRAP.....that was HARD!

Think about it, you use your core for EVERYTHING, and my abs were all tighten and stitched up. SO hard to transfer. MISERABLE!!!

Long story short, it took a while to be ready to go home cuz i kept getting faint when i stood up.

But i eventually made it to the bathroom, to a wheel chair, and into my sisters car to go to my mom's home.

I didnt think about stairs. There was NO way i was doing stairs. So we quickly changed my living situation, and got it figured out. Made it home, got into my recliner and place of living for the next couple weeks! SIGH. Yes. It sucks.

You HAVE to have help with a tummy tuck. LOTS of help. You cant sit up on your own. Cant stand up on your own. Cant go to the bathroom on your own. I cant even put my recliner up on my own. Every little thing you take for granted.. you need help with. I cant even open my pill bottles on my own cuz that requires using your upper abs. 

If you have kids, you need 24/7 care for them cuz you cant be lifting them. You cant get up for all your toddlers needs every 5 minutes like meals, coloring books, tying shoes, getting dressed, etc.

YOU WILL BE IN PAIN, AND BE NAUSEOUS! You will be provided with pain meds after surgery, but they dont give you nausea meds, anti constipation meds, etc. Its no secret that pain meds BACK YOU UP! And you just had all your abs stitched and lower tummy sliced, and lets get real! you dont want to be pushing out the 20 lb consequence of pain meds right after surgery!! Fiber and stool softeners will be your best friend.
I have to do breathing exercises with a breathing spirometer thing to prevent pneumonia.

Food: Because of the nausea, pain meds, and constipation, you want to keep your food simple and soft. Sugar helps with the nausea. My mommy spoils me and supplied me with ice cream, pudding, & yummy soups. Ginger ale helps with nausea. Tums, and if you have nausea meds, they will come in handy!

This man owns my heart. He takes such good care of me! He rubs my legs every night to help prevent blood clots and helps me walk around.

You cant shower till 4-5 days after surgery. You have to give your incisions a little healing time before you expose them to water and get a possible infection. But on day 3, i couldnt stand it anymore, and Jeff helped me wash my hair in a sink with a detachable head, and he blow dried my hair. Man i love him!

Laughing and coughing SUCKS. It hurst so so bad.

Not being able to take care of my baby is HARD (where he depends on me for EVERYTHING, and Braylee is more independent). But my family is so supportive and helps how they can, like letting me hold him in my chair. It definitely helps though when i can hear and see my kids laughing and playing and give them kisses. Its REALLY hard on the days where my kids are gone. But i just remind myself.. its only a couple weeks! Once i can move around more, i can go with them when they have to go to family that do not live at my mom's :)
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Recovering from a tummy tuck is SO SO hard.
This surgery is DEFINITELY a desperate measure.

But its mostly the first week that is SO miserable and hard!!

I am SOOO thankful for my loving family and in laws that are pretty much beckoning to my EVERY need. Its hard asking so much of people but i am SO SO appreciative.
My babies are very loved and well taken care of, which makes a hard situation easier :))
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Next post will be the reveal of my tummy and my DISASTROUS shower
 that i was SO stoked for :(

Follow my on Instagram and Keek for better/faster updates!!

---> Weight Loss Journey {full story}

---> Postpartum Bodies {BodyReveal}
--> WHY I Decided Tummy Tuck/Abdominoplasty 

Im Getting A Tummy Tuck {Lets Chat About It}

If you missed the 2 posts leading up to this, here's the links:

--> Weight Loss Journey {full story}

--> Postpartum Bodies {BodyReveal}

Ok. So im getting a tummy tuck. Tomorrow.

I wanted to wait till last minute to announce it because i wanted it to be a decision i made ALL on my own! I didnt want outside opinions to persuade me FOR or against.

This all started in January. I was thinking about having it done. Knew of a close friend who had one done. So i got her surgeons info, and set a consultation date. When i met with my surgeon, he was VERY informative. Explained the surgery itself, scars, follow ups, recovery time, how to prepare, things like that. He made me feel really comfortable and informed. Looked at my tummy, took pics, and said to call if i wanted to set up the surgery. I didnt feel pressured at all.

So for the last few months, ive been thinking, researching, finding pro's, con's. Good and bad. Looked up youtube videos of people who've had it done. Their recovery time, pain levels, tips, suggestions, regrets, etc. NO ONE regretted their tummy tuck (unless they went to a bad surgeon).

I even search all info on my surgeon. Reviews, portfolios (even though i looked through one at the consult), things like that. My surgeon came recommended from a close friend. Ive seen her results in person. I already knew he was good. But in my researching... it solidified his amazingness. 

He's an older guy. Very experienced. Best in my county for YEARS! He had so many plaques and awards. A little more expensive.. but surgery is NOT something to go cheap on.

So i decided to do it.

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Im being so open and honest with this journey for ME.

I want to document it for one.

For 2, i just want people to understand, for ME.

Ive become so adapt and got so good at hiding things, that people really just were confused and didnt understand. Until i showed them.

I also just wanted to put my story out there to explain that I've tried everything. Healthy living has been my lifestyle for the last 4 years. Ive accomplished so much and done a complete 180 with my health... and i just want to feel normal. I want to be proud of all my hard work. Not reminded of it hanging on my body.

ANYWAY.

I made this video for my vlog channel. Just a heart to heart on my decision.

Sorry it got kinda lengthy (9:44 min)

But it was good for me getting it all out and explaining all the emotions.

Wish me luck!
Ill update as soon as im able to.

The TRUTH About Postpartum Bodies {Body Reveal}

You know those women you see, or know of, who wear a bikini, and you’d NEVER guess they’ve had kids…… they’re toned, tan, and not a stretch mark in sight….

Lets get real. MOST of us mommy’s are NOT that lucky. We’re left with a stretch mark or 2, our boobs sag a little more, our hips are a little bigger, & our skin is a little weirder and looser. You get pretty C-section scars. That pooch you just CANT get rid of. Some cases are mild, and some are more severe…. But we’ll get back to this in a minute.

Even weird things like our hair getting thinner or doesn’t curl as well. Our food preferences change (things we used to love, now hate, or visa versa).  You used to never get cavities… now you do. You cant remember things as well. You cant stand certain smells anymore.. Oh the list goes on!

But never fear! There are positives as well! USUALLY you mature a lot! You see life differently. Your priorities change and become more meaningful. You get super powers like supersonic hearing, reading minds, and foretelling the future! Ok ok, so maybe that just comes with knowing your children all too well.
Becoming a parent is the BEST THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!! Im not even kidding. I wouldnt trade ANYTHING for it.

NOW. Im not trying to scare anyone with this post… but sometimes you just gotta get REAL. I wish I knew all this stuff before I got pregnant.

Not that it would change the fact of having children…. But I for sure would have waited till I was a little older instead of 19 years old!

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Ok, lets get to the second part of this post and the biggest reason WHY im doing this post. I mentioned in my weight loss journey, that there was going to be a second part. Well this is it.

I am one of the EXTREME cases, of bodies after pregnancy. My skin hates me. Bottom life. Some women are lucky in that department. And some are VERY unfortunate, like myself.
I’ve been through 2 pregnancies and lost 66 lbs in the last 4 years. Ive worked SO hard.. And im not fully reaping those benefits due to things I cant control!

Not without plastic surgery that is. So having that being said… im getting a tummy tuck done. Like soon.

Im going to do a separate video on the tummy tuck…

But when I tell people im getting a tummy tuck… they are CONFUSED.. Until I show them. So I made this video for me. I want people to understand HOW BAD my situation is. So well. Here ya go..

"DISCONNECTED"

Lets have a little heart to heart.

Ive been trying to write this post for days.

Ive written it, re-written it. Gone in 50 different directions with it.

Lately I've been feeling so "disconnected". 

Im trying to figure out WHY. Im trying to figure out how to handle it. How to fix it.

Blogging is my journal. Its just how i express myself best.

The reason why I've struggled with this post and re-written it so many times is becuase i'm not allowed to write. Im not allowed to express myself. Im not allowed to be me. Flat out. It is what it is.

Im not going to elaborate on that cuz thats where i get in trouble. But in my struggle to express myself and trying to figure out whats going on and how to explain whats going on without pissing people off...  i decided to just briefly state whats going on instead of trying to explain.

Im going through a LOT of changes. A LOT of life experiences. And there is still a lot more to come.

Im disconnected, trying to figure things out, and figure out how to handle them..

And im not going to lie. Im having a really rough time cuz i feel so alone. I feel so trapped. I feel like i cant communicate.. and thats probably why im having such a rough time.

Im sorry if this leaves you with a lot of questions about what im going through.. but i bet i have a lot more questions then you..

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I guess im posting this for anyone who cares to know whats going on.

But just bare with me for the next little bit.

Friends, family, bloggers etc..... just bare with me and promise to not write me off.

I might be a little MIA in real life and in my blogging etc activities...

But ill get it all figured out...

I love you all.... (real life and internet friends)... but just dont take anything personally...

Im just focusing on ME and my little family.

Gay Rights {A World So Hateful}

This post is NOT a debate on whether being "gay" is wrong or right.

Any hateful, rude, & ignorant comments about gays will NOT be published.

Im not going to talk about my opinion on it, & i dont want to hear your opinion on it.

What i AM going to talk about..

is RIGHTS. And DOING right.

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Once upon a time, many years ago, black people were considered "dirty" "scum" "of the devil". They were beaten down and robbed of their humanity. Treated like dirt. They were "property" rather than people. (UGH i cant even hold back my tears).

One day, people opened up their eyes and realized its NOT right. We are to ALL be treated EQUAL!

This world is filled with so much hate! So much pain!

NO MATTER THE SITUATION, when did it become ok??

Whether you agree or disagree with gay marriage, support or dont support gay marriage.. what gives you the right to control other people's rights?!

Discrimination is NOT ok! Live your own life!

Why do people go OUT OF THEIR WAY, to go control someone else's rights? How does it effect you in any way?!

This is 2013 people! Times change! Get over it and move on with your life!

"Kids are walkin' around the hallway
Plagued by pain in their heart
A world so hateful
Some would rather die
Than be who they are"

It absolutely breaks my heart to think of the pain and agony that people have to endure just because of their sexuality.
Im not stating if i support or dont support, cuz i dont want this post to be a debate and i dont want people to bust out their bibles and start beating others down with bible verses. I dont care. I dont care about your opinion, and you dont care about mine.

My POINT of this post... is WE ARE ALL EQUALS! Love one another. No one is higher or lower than the person next to them! Whether its tattoos, piercings, gender, race, sexuality.. WE ARE ALL EQUAL! We are all human beings and deserve to all be treated the same!

Where is the love and compassion in your heart?! Dont agree with same sex attraction, THATS FINE! But you can still treat that person just like anyone else. You can still show them decency and civility. You dont have to be religious to be a decent loving person. And you dont have to use religion as a reason to not be a decent loving person.

Lets wrap this up with a quote from an amazing friend of mine.
and a random quote on FB.

"supporting a law to be passed so that we all have the same rights DOES NOT mean you don't believe in God. If you like your freedom of religion, speech and the right to marry who you love, you should only want the same for everyone else. Being FOR equality doesn't mean you have to be friends with homosexuals, have them in your life or ever talk to them, it just means you believe in the freedom this country once stood for. HOMOSEXUALITY is not a disease, its not contagious and its not anyone's job to judge. We should love one another and fight for our freedom. Religion is there for example in being a better person and loving each other, not a dictatorship. We all believe in different God's or different versions of one God, different religions etc, and we should keep fighting for that freedom!"

"If you dont agree with something then dont partake in the action. We let people drink if they wanna drink, let people swear if they wanna swear, eat junk food if they wanna eat junk food, all items in which affect family life and communities. The debate is making sure families and communities aren't affected by gay marriage. Well if that's the case then let's take fast food away from fat people. Because they are teaching their kids deadly habits. If that's the case then let's take alcohol away because there are parent that abuse alcohol while watching their kids... Bottom line is we should be less concerned about someone loving another human and more concerned about issues in our society that are causing direct harm to people like fast food, drugs, health care system, etc"

Love on people!

Dealing With A Difficult Child...

We all know they are out there... "that kid". 

The one that wont share, the one that hits, the one that doesn't listen. The kid that talks back and mouths off.... "THAT kid"

Well what if that kid happens to be YOUR kid??

Braylee isnt "THAT kid", but she has the tendency to be that kid lol.

This post is mostly my advice on dealing with a difficult child. My situation.. followed by a 5 step process in how to handle a difficult child :)))

Before i get into this, let me just state that i LOVE my baby girl. My tiny peanut princess who made me a mother for the first time. She is my BEST friend and i really mean that!

I write this post to maybe help other parents who have a kid like mine.

Ok. lets begin.

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From day ONE (ok maybe day 3), Braylee has been DIFFICULT. We brought her home from the hospital and she would sleep for about 2 hours at a time, but then would wake up to eat, and not go back to sleep. This turned into her being backwards with her sleeping. Basically she slept all day, and was awake all night. I kid you not, this lasted 2 WHOLE MONTHS! Mom got no sleep.

In that 2 months, Braylee eventually developed acid reflux and colic. So she kept me up all night, and would scream non stop all day. I swear she never slept...

Yes, there was a light at the end of the tunnel with the sleep. Slowly but surely, at 1 years old, Braylee would sleep through the night.

Once she was 12 months old. Her terrible 2's started! I figured, oh joy, she is going to have her terrible 2 stage now, and be a normal 2 year old! NOPE. It got worse at age 2. Then people started telling me, "oh you just wait till she's 3. It gets worse.". I figured there is NO way.. WORSE then this tantrum throwing devil 2 year old?? No she had terrible 1's, terrible 2's, we are going to have a GOOD 3 year old! Literally, the day she turned 2, she threw THE WORST tantrum EVER on her bday, and terrible 3's began!

Now. She eventually mellowed out at 3 1/2 years old... but i have just come to terms, that Braylee is my "difficult child" and always will be. Thats just Braylee.

Braylee has to do things HER way, on HER time. She has always been that way. She is feisty, loud, jealous.. my mom calls her little Tinkerbell :). She will let you know when she is mad. She has no shame making a scene out on public.

Now dong get me wrong. Braylee has manners, she is a sweet girl, she plays well with her friends. She has the sweetest little voice, she defends her friends (especially younger kids). She really is a good kid! But at the drop of a dime, her temper can get the best of her..

Now why is this?

How can she be so good, but so bad??

Maybe Braylee is this way because she is a Gemini (split personality thing). Maybe she got some of her fathers bipolar disorder.. who knows!

But what I think... is that we are just handling Braylee correctly!

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THIS is where my parental advice comes in!

• Let them BE them self!

-Like i mentioned, Braylee just IS they way she is. We know this. And we love her for this. We know she is feisty  We know she is GREAT at expressing her emotions.. and we dont try to change her. We help her to maybe handle things in a better way.. remind her... but i would NEVER try to make Braylee stop being the way she is. She likes to handle things on her own time, so we let her do that (unless the situation calls for something otherwise).

• • LET your kid express them self!
  -Not letting your child properly deal with their emotions is SO bad on your child! Children act the way they do for a reason! They are learning WHAT their emotions are and how to handle them. Only disciplining and not letting them express them self only makes inner destruction in your child. If they cant deal with their emotions.. it becomes destructive.
  -BUT, in the same sense, be a parent! Dont LET them hit. Dont LET them kick doors down. Dont LET them mouth off and talk back to you... 
  which brings me to my next advise.. 
  
  
• Get to the bottom of the problem!

-Anger is a SECONDARY emotion. There is ALWAYS a different emotion that leads you into anger. Frustration, sorrow, confusion, etc. Think about it. Anytime you're mad, its because your sad about something (like you gained a pound that day) and that makes you mad. or you're confused, which can lead you to be angry. Kids dont always know WHY they feel angry.. and it can scare them! Hence temper tantrums. They are mostly scared and confused at WHAT they are feeling. They dont know what sorrow is, or confusion. They dont understand WHY a kid would take their toy, etc. 

• UNDERSTAND

-I think understanding is one of the hardest things to do for us humans. Its hard to put ourselves in other peoples shoes. Its hard to see things from another persons view. Especially cuz we add in our own life experiences. Example, its hard to sympathize with someone who is pregnant and complaining, when your pregnancy was 10 TIMES worse (just as an example lol). And with children.. we dont always take into mind that to a 2 year old or a young child.. someone taking their toy IS the end of their perfect little world. A tooth cutting through IS the WORST pain they have ever experienced cuz they havent had the life experience of something worse! Feeling sorrow and anger is new to them! So just try to understand!

• RELAX!

-Lastly... RELAX! Dont sweat the small stuff! So they're throwing a temper tantrum cuz they want a string cheese.. Well is it really THAT big of a deal that they cant have one? So they want to stay at the park 5 more minutes.... is it really THAT big of a deal to stay 5 more minutes? So they made a mess of your makeup.. did they break anything? did they ruin anything?? Then RELAX!

Yes it might slow you down and you might be in a hurry, but if your kid wants to try to buckle their own seat belt.. is it really that big of a deal to just let them do it?!

Dont make a bigger deal of something then it needs to be! :))

Always Be My Rock....

Inhale...................exhale!

Lets talk about my husband.

My hypothyroidism a huge part of my life. So i apologize if i talk about it a lot.

As you know, my thyroid is off right now. It was low, so they upped my dose, and it takes 6 weeks for your body to adjust to it. Well when my thyroid is off.... my life is off.

Thats really the best way to explain it. I just FEEL... off.

Im tired, im ornery, my insides hurt, the scale doesnt change, but i FEEL fatter or more bloated (not that i actually am... i just FEEL that way). Its hard to explain. I have less patients, im more moody, but as i mentioned... the best and PERFECT way to explain how i feel.. if OFF.

I just dont feel like me!

I hate it... and i know it will pass... its just hard to deal with.

So lets get to the husband part.

(as im already starting to tear up)

This MAN... is heaven sent. I swear he is the only man on this planet who could handle me.. 

and he handles me like a CHAMP!

He knows just the right things to say, he knows just the right things to do. He has so much patients with me, he is just amazing! I have days where im so snappy, im so short tempered....and what does he do?? He comes home with FLOWERS for me!! Im here like "what?! i was so mean to you today... i dont deserve this!" and he just smiles and says "get ready, we are going out on a hot date tonight"...

HEAVEN sent he is...

I seriously have the best husband ever! He reminds me every day of how beautiful i am..
He loves me for me, accepts my bad traits and habits, & doesnt try to change me. Lets me be me. We're a normal couple, we get in arguments, but we BUILD from them. Change for the better and respect each other's wishes and upsets. Jeff is #1 for taking things as constructive. He treats me like a princess. Attends to my emotional needs. Helps me with the house and kids. He doesnt expect "stereotypes". Our relationship is based on respect, love, and emotion. 

I dont always cook dinner, the house isnt always clean..and he NEVER gets mad.

He doesnt expect the "stay at home mom duties" from me. He doesnt make me feel like i'm an "object". Like im SUPPOSED to do these things. We are EQUAL.

He is understanding to my photography job and when swamped with editing. He is understanding to my second babysitting job. Even though i am home.. i am busy. He gets that! He is understanding to my thyroid and my lack of energy...

We are all adjusting right now.

Adjusting to my thyroid, adjusting to jeff's new job (i will blog about that, no worries), the kids are adjusting.. everything is adjusting right now... and Jeff is just my ROCK.

He is so understanding, so sweet, he is my everything!

People always tell Jeff that he is a lucky guy....

But the truth is... IM the lucky one!
i couldnt ask for a better man by my side :)

Is My Baby "Slow"??

Im starting to feel helpless and trapped (which is a weird emotion) when it comes to my perfect baby boy. I feel like we're constantly trying to play catch up. Like its becoming a part time job trying to keep him at the level of development that other babies are at. and every time i turn my head, a baby his same age is mastering ANOTHER milestone when we're still 2 steps behind working on the first milestone he was struggling with.

As you know, at Baiden's 4 month check up, the NP (nurse practitioner) was concerned with Baiden's lack of holding his head  up, and said we needed to go to a specialist for his development. Also brought up needing a helmet.

For some reason i was heart broken.

Baiden came down with the flu early the next morning, so once he was on the mend with the flu, my mom brain kicked in and i said "well thats why he wasnt holding his head up good! He had the flu coming on. He was weak and tired!". I guess you could say i was in denial.

The following day upon hearing that news, we worked really hard on tummy time and putting him in his jumper toy. He was doing AWESOME. I became full on set that he was fine and we were going to get a second opinion.
But those days turned into weeks, and although he was still doing really well with it, was rolling over all the time, somehow rotates himself in circles, he was being "lazy". He'll be on him tummy, hold his head up for a few minutes, then lay it down, and repeat. I thought that was great! But then i learn that other babies his age hold their head up for like 10 minutes at a time or longer. Okay. Is my baby behind? We're on week 3 of working with his tummy time, and he is "progressing" he's just doing the same.

We laughed it off and joke about him being a lazy boy.. but it soon started to concern me. And in the mist of being concerned and working even harder on his tummy time.. other babies his age are almost sitting up! Okay. Baiden is no where NEAR sitting up...

Am i being paranoid? Should i brush it off? I NEVER compared Braylee's milestones with other babies. But then again, she was always right there with other babies and their milestones. Im not MEANING to "compare", im just simply noticing.. and it causes some concern.

People tell me, "Christa, all babies go at their own pace, he's fine". And i know that and i try to comfort myself with that thought.. but what if its more? People say, "Christa, he was a month early, he might just be a little behind till he is older".. and i know that. But Braylee was 3 weeks early (Baiden was 4 weeks early) and Braylee did fine. Does 1 week really make that much of a difference? i just... i dunno.

Im just feeling like we're getting more and more behind.

We have an appt. on Tuesday for a second opinion.

What do you guys think? Anyone been in this situation? Any advice?

Jobless {Piss On Pepsi}

Ok, so my "week from hell" vlog got so long, i said i'd do a second vlog about the part of Jeff losing his job. So here it is!

I edited and re-editing this video ALL day yesterday. I tried to edit it down as much as possible, review it A LOT to make sure i did this video as tastefully as possible. I sat on it all day and made sure i was 100% to say what i said... you'll understand when you watch the video.
I took a lot out. We'll just say that haha.

So again, sorry its so long.. just listen to it while surfing facebook in another screen!

Christa vents are funny!

As disclaimed in this video, im not trying to make anyone look bad, BUT, it IS what it IS.
Also, Jeff worked for Admiral Beverage, not Pepsi national.
Here in Utah county, thats how that works.

Anyway, enjoy!
((if you dont care for the vent.. positive part and what our plan is now, is at 9:38))

Make sure you subcribe to my Youtube channel!
I mostly do fitness check in's and MMA stuff on that channel..

So if you're interested in more personal type vlogs... make sure you subscribe to THIS channel!

"Everything happens for a reason. Live it, love it, learn from it! Make your smile change the world, but don't let the world change your smile!!"

Have a sense of humor people!
:)))

Our Week From HELL...

A LOT of scary things happened last week...

ive mentioned here and there via fb, instagram, twitter, etc, that i would do a blog post on everything going on! I ended up doing a vlog of it to knock out 2 birds with one stone!

Sorry this video got a little lengthy..

So feel free to listen while you surf facebook in another screen haha

((as mentioned.. you can find the second video
going into more detail about Jeff losing his job HERE <--- a="">))

2012 {Recap!}

WOOOOO-WEEE!

2012 has been REALLY eventful. Full of fall ins, fall outs, ups, downs, and the event that took the crown.. Mr Baiden being born. So lets recap this roller-coaster year!

Going through all the albums on my computer has been quite the blast to the past, and quite the task trying to pick ONE event in that month, and pick ONE pic. So my only advice is to follow the links and read the whole blog post! (If there is a link)

(Disclaimer: My life is an open book. I post a lot of pics. Key people in my life are in a lot of my pics.The internet world notices when things in the personal life change, even if i didnt officially talk about it on my blog. So out of respect for those involved, ill give a brief statement, but lets not ask too many questions lol)

JANUARY

 January was my fitness/weight loss PEAK after struggling for so long (9 months) with my newly discovered disease (February 2011) hypothyroidism and finding my right dose.

FEBRUARY

:)  (Link to post--> HERE)

 Went to our first MMA fight.. and the fall in of our new best friends began :)

(link)

MARCH

 (link)

APRIL

 April was the month of reunited friendships!

After a full year of not talking to one of my best friends and Braylee's best friend from when they were in the womb.. the past was put behind us. (Preslie, Rylee, & Braylee--best friend babies sense the womb) 

 Also rekindled another best friendship this month. After about 5 months of not seeing some very special people, we reconciled. I was a very happy camper this month

MAY

 BOY! (link)

 Jeff Turned 24 (link)

JUNE

 I turned 23! (link part 1----link part 2)

Braylee turned 3! (link)

 SCARY. Almost lost the baby (LINK)

JULY

EPIC 4th of July Water slide/water fight (--->LINK<---- a="a">)

AUGUST

 Nikki's Bachlorette weekend in Vegas takes the cake this month! (link)

*Also...lost my best friend AGAIN around this time, and ANOTHER (yes 2 best friends)
*Grandpa passed away

SEPTEMBER

 Our best friends tie the knot! (i actually was the photographer for their wedding so head on over to the photography blog for pics! -->LINK<--- a="a">)

 BAIDEN ARRIVES A MONTH EARLY! (--->LINK<---- a="a">)

OCTOBER 

October was very chill, enjoying new baby :)

But here is our Halloween (link)

NOVEMBER

 Jeff and I celebrate FIVE year of marriage on November 10th!! (link to a deep post -->here)

DECEMBER

 Christmas was amazing this year!

(Christmas post --->here)

*Grandma (wife to Grandpa) passed away

--------------------------------------------------------

See what i mean! Crazy roller coaster year.
more ups then downs though for sure!

i lost 2 best friends, BUT gained (& rekindled) 2 best friends.

I know my life sounds dramatic in the friend department, but all i will say, is that i wasnt the one who threw the friendships away if you catch my drift. Im not going into detail, and please dont ask questions. But all i have to say, is that life gets the best of us sometimes. We are young, we make mistakes. Its sad to watch, but sometimes you just gotta let your loved ones have their time and know when to not let it bring you down. Ok, enough with that.

Getting pregnant after my miscarriage last year was amazing and i was so stoked for our new baby! My pregnancy was AMAZING! We had SO much fun this year with parks, camping, boating, bbq's, cabins adventures, concerts, carnivals, birthdays, holidays, HOLY CRAP! We met AMAZING friends this year who we have to thank for the rekindling, majority of the fun events, but most importantly, friends we can call family. People who would literally go to battle for us. Support us. Was there for me through hard times, Etc.

This was also the year for my photography business! I started photography the end of March of 2011. 2011 was my learning year, 2012 was my branching out and growth year! If you're interested in my work, head of over to my blog and follow it! :) http://chrissyannphotography.blogspot.com 
-----------------------------------

So CHEERS to 2013!
I have a feeling its going to be even better then 2012